Most people can name someone who changed the direction of their career. A manager who backed them. A senior colleague who told them the truth. Someone who'd already walked the road they were on.
That's mentoring. And the good news is you don't have to wait for it to happen by luck. With a bit of preparation, you can make every session with a mentor count.
What is mentoring?
The CIPD, the UK body for HR professionals, describes mentoring as a relationship where a more experienced person shares their knowledge to support someone less experienced. It uses the same skills as coaching: questioning, listening, clarifying and reframing. But there are two big differences.
| Mentoring | Coaching | |
|---|---|---|
| What you get | Experience, stories, advice and contacts from someone who's been there | Questions that help you find your own answers |
| Style | Advice-driven; shares direct answers, playbooks, and personal history | Question-driven; helps you find your own solutions |
| Length | Tends to be longer term | Usually a defined period, focused on specific goals |
| Agenda & Structure | More informal and flexible; driven by the mentee | Usually structured; driven or guided by the coach |
In short: a coach helps you think. A mentor also tells you what they've seen work.
How the relationship works
Here's the part most people miss: the mentee drives it. University mentoring programmes, including Carnegie Mellon and Northwestern, are clear that it's the mentee's job to set the agenda, book the meetings and follow up.
Your mentor brings experience. You bring direction.
| Your mentor brings | You bring |
|---|---|
| Lessons from their own career | Clear goals for what you want to learn |
| Honest feedback | An agenda for each session |
| Connections and introductions, where they can | Openness to feedback, even when it stings |
| Time and attention | Follow-through on what you agreed |
It also works both ways. Carnegie Mellon's mentee guide describes it as a partnership where both mentor and mentee "give and grow". Good mentors often learn as much from you as you do from them.
Before your session: tick these off
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Do your homework on your mentor. Read their profile and career history. You'll ask better questions if you know where they've been.
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Set two or three goals for the session. Not "get advice", but "understand how you moved from analyst to manager" or "get feedback on my plan to switch sectors".
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Write your questions down. Focus on things you can't easily find online. That's where a mentor's experience is worth the most.
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Send a short agenda ahead. A few bullet points a day or two before gives your mentor time to think.
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Bring an update. If you've met before, note what you tried since last time and how it went.
Getting the most out of it
During the session
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Open with your intention. Try: "Today I'd like to cover…" and name your two or three topics. It keeps you both on track.
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Ask for their stories. "Have you faced something like this?" often gets you further than "What should I do?"
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Be honest about what's hard. Your mentor can only help with the real problem, not the polished version.
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Take notes. Jot down key ideas and any names they suggest you contact.
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Agree next steps before you finish. Then ask: "When should we meet next?"
After the session
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Say thank you within a day.
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Act on at least one thing before you next meet.
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Circle back. Tell your mentor how their advice worked out. It's the step most people skip, and the one mentors remember.
Quick check: which of these do you usually forget? Pick one to do differently next time.
How CareerUp helps
CareerUp pairs AI tools with real people. The AI does the groundwork; the human conversation is where the experience comes in.
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Book a 1:1 session on the website. Sessions are 30 minutes with an experienced career professional, priced in line with your package, and you can reschedule if plans change.
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Arrive with evidence, not guesswork. Your CV, tailored applications, application tracker and assessment results are all in one dashboard, ready to share.
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Practise between sessions. Use AI interview practice to rehearse, then bring what you learned to your next conversation.
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Keep momentum. Regular sessions mean you can report back on progress, which is exactly how good mentoring relationships grow.
Sources and further reading
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Coaching and mentoring factsheet, CIPD (updated 11 August 2025). Defines mentoring and explains how it differs from coaching.
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Mentee Guide, Carnegie Mellon University Human Resources. Covers the mentee's role as agenda-setter, meeting structure and how to end each session.
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Best Practices for Mentees, Northwestern Network Mentorship Program. Practical tips on driving the relationship, preparing for meetings and following up.